Rejection 101

Four pairs of shiny eyes peered out of my oldest son’s Jeep as I rounded the corner into our driveway. I grinned and found myself anxious to connect with my boys after a full day at the office. Inside, my youngest son was laying on the couch with his feet up playing his iPod.

Summer vacation had just begun and I was a little anxious about leaving the boys home on the days I work– thinking they might need me. I asked my ten year old, “Do you want to do anything – I can play a game with you?” “No,” he said, “but can I invite a friend over?”

Rejected, I wandered into the den . . . thinking. This aloofness, as the boys get older, has been happening more lately. It has come as a surprise to Greg and I, who have spent a lot of time investing relationally in our kids. While I was mulling this over and recalling other similar occurrences, my middle son walked in and asked, “I haven’t really talked with you yet, how was your day?” (Smiles!) Next, the youngest came in offering to make me an origami butterfly. (More smiles!) For a moment I thought I had been downgraded from ‘involved mom’ to ‘housekeeper,’ ‘chore-patroller,’ and ‘cook.’ Although important responsibilities, I want more than that; I want relationship with my kids. Even though they are teenagers, I want to know them - and for them to know me.

Of course, they will grow up and things will change, but I hope we’ll have a bond that lasts a lifetime.

Sometimes I treat God similarly. I know he’s around, but I take him for granted. I ask Him for things, but don’t always want to know Him. Well, I do want to know Him, but it can depend on the day and how busy I am. I used to be forgetful of Him and go through the whole day without even saying, ‘hello’ or ‘thank you.’ I’m sure I’ve hurt His heart a whole lot more than my kids have hurt mine. He’s such a faithful Father. I’m intrigued by the priority Jesus places on relationship. He said, “And this is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent.” John 17:3

Knowing God, really knowing Him, is the secret of a fulfilled life. Jesus knew that; that’s why He prayed it for us. Oh, the intimacy we could have!

“Lord, forgive us for the days we’ve rejected time with you, treated you as a vending machine, forgotten you, or put our priorities ahead of you. Draw us close and help us grow in relationship with you. Amen.”

Skiing Down the Mountain

I took my girlfriend skiing the other day. Our families vacationed together and spent one of those days skiing on an unfamiliar mountain. She was doing well on the bunny hill so after lunch I invited her to go up the next chair. We studied the map and decided there was an easy way down. It was a long traverse that was nearly flat so we skirted around the mountain until we reached the end where a sign marked the way down – a black diamond run. How could this happen, the map showed a trail that wasn’t there? We hiked back and found a ‘slightly’ easier way down that was being used for slalom race training. I guided her slowly down the mountain on the side of this course. She was trying to stay positive as she turned and fell, turned and fell. What a horrible navigator I was!

Sometimes I think I’m a better route-finder than I really am. Usually, in my independent nature, I want to choose which way my life turns . . . even in unfamiliar territory I figure I can use my best judgment and make right choices. But, like the skiing mishap, I’ve found my way into a few problems which were pretty difficult to get out of – whole, without bumps and bruises.

Why do we do this? It reminds me of my kids when they were little when they insisted on doing life their way – and struggled and cried because they couldn’t. We all have an independent streak. We don’t really want to bend our will when we’ve set in motion our plan, in our way, at our time.

Here is God’s way ~ “I have set the LORD always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.” Psalm 16:8.

How do we set the Lord before us? We can’t do it by running ahead of him. We have to surrender to the leader – which is often a daily decision: Him or me. Whose advice and wisdom will I follow: His or mine? He counsels and instructs me, but, sometimes I ignore Him, don’t listen, and don’t pause to ask. Other times I hear . . . and debate. My independence surges; my fleshly desires repeat their wants. Do I really want to surrender to the Lord? I do, but, I don’t.

“God, today, I choose you again. I choose to surrender my will to yours. You lead, I will follow. Thank you for the blessings you give as I follow you. Because of You I will not be shaken. Help me to stay behind you and not ahead. Help me to ‘set you always before me’ all day long. Amen”